The end of an era

Today was difficult. My family and I cleaned out mom’s apartment. It was somewhat surprising to discover how little she actually owned. She had only lived in her tiny one-bedroom apartment in California’s high desert for about 18 months. It seems like there was more ‘stuff’ when she moved in then what what we ultimately divided between the family and donation centers.

My niece–with 6 kids aged 16 and under–received all of the food, cleaning supplies (Mom had A LOT), and a desperately needed car. My brother took the drop leaf table that my uncle made, another brother took her recliners, a sister wanted a painting of a carousel, and another sister took her jewelry box and personal mementos. I ended up with a couch, bed for my son, a television, and her cookbooks.

Through it all, there were no arguments or debates, no one felt cheated or shorted. It was all so easy. There were no tears shed–I did that earlier after arguing with the extremely rude U-Haul attendant–and everyone was focused on getting the job done. Quite the opposite to my husband’s family who, even after nearly 10 years, has still not settled the grandparent’s estate. This is due in part to the fact that this ‘Christian’ family was overcome with greed after their death and were unable to allow the original executor to fulfill their role, changed executors, and then stalled as that executor failed to even complete the most basic function of the role.

What a remarkable difference in the way our two families manage the end of a loved one’s life.

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