Can I catch a break?

This week–hell, this year–has quickly turned into a new adventure on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.  And this week has been a bit of a nightmare. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly So much has happened with Alan’s cancer diagnosis.  He’s officially stage 4B (metastasized prostate cancer).  The cancer has spread to the bone.  His… Continue reading Can I catch a break?

Worse than Expected

I’m not sure if Alan knows that I’m recording all of this, and if he does know, I’m not sure how he feels about it. He certainly hasn’t said anything, not that he’s read it. I’m cataloging this more for me, so I don’t forget things, than for public consumption anyway. If anyone does read… Continue reading Worse than Expected

Rough Roads Ahead

157. That was one of Alan’s most recent PSA levels. He’s doing another blood test tomorrow to get updated numbers. Depending on the context, that number is meaningless. In this case, that number is bad. Very bad. PSA levels should be 4 or less, so a value of 157 after radiation therapy is not a… Continue reading Rough Roads Ahead

The end of an era

Today was difficult. My family and I cleaned out mom’s apartment. It was somewhat surprising to discover how little she actually owned. She had only lived in her tiny one-bedroom apartment in California’s high desert for about 18 months. It seems like there was more ‘stuff’ when she moved in then what what we ultimately… Continue reading The end of an era

When it rains, it pours

Saying goodbye isn’t easy, but saying goodbye to my mom is harder than I ever imagined. This is so difficult. It hurts and it’s painful, and I knew it would happen eventually. I’m not ready yet.